When we walk forward down a pathway, we take one step at a time. Connecting to our soul’s purpose works exactly in the same way. Our soul purpose is revealed to us one step at a time and clues about our pathway begin as far back as our early childhood. A journey back helps us understand the pattern of moving forward into our soul’s purpose. However, the journey back is not always and easy one. But, the power of self discovery makes the journey worth while.
As a child, I knew I was different than other kids and especially compared to my brothers. I had completely different interests all together. When I was alone in my room or outdoors in nature, I found myself talking out loud to God, Jesus, and the Angels. This was completely natural to me even though I was not raised with religion, spirituality or even metaphysics! I somehow knew these Divine beings with whom I was talking with everyday. Sometimes my conversations with God, Jesus, or the Angels were peaceful and sometimes they would be filled with anger because I knew I was different and didn’t fit in with other children. I often felt alone and confused. I would question who I was and if there really were beings I was talking with or if I was making up the entire thing in my mind. I knew they had to be real because I could feel them and see them in my mind. I spent a lot of time asking why this was happening to me. I wondered what it meant. I wondered if I was crazy. The feeling of confusion would be exacerbated by my parents as I would over hear them time and time again describing me to others as being “different.” Hearing the words different always made me feel that there was something wrong with me, I longed to be like everyone else. The emotions stirred inside of me, even though I wanted to be like the other kids, I didn’t know how. When I tired to act like everyone else, even at a young age, it left me feeling dishonest and uncomfortable. Why did I have to pretend not to be me? Even though this was a very confusing time in my life, eventually I would become comfortable with being alone, different and being me.
When we think back on our toddler years, we don’t always remember what happened during that time. I have found that if we need to remember, particularly if it was a clue about our soul’s purpose, it will become crystal clear to us. My first clairvoyant memory was when I was a toddler waking up from a nap, looking up and seeing these hues of bright light surrounding the outside of my crib. The more I would look at it, the clearer it became to me. Within the bright light, there were people like images, taking form with wings. I now know it was the Angels. There was one angel in particular I remember making direct eye contact with. I would see this angel from time to time in my dreams (or so I thought they were dreams) throughout my childhood. Years later, I discovered her name was Victoria, and she is one of my guardian Angels. Knowing that Victoria and other Angels were with me all along, always made me feel safe and comfortable, throughout my life. If only I had this knowing early in my childhood, because of feeling so different, my childhood was full of feeling unsafe.
Off to School
In August of 1976 it was off to kindergarten for this little Lightworker. I have to tell you, I thought school was in no shape or form for me. This feeling occurred from the first day of school to the very last day I graduated. My biggest complaint was always why I had to spend time studying a subject I knew had absolutely nothing to do with my life beyond school. Nothing! A direct clue that I was indeed a Lightworker. Lightworkers come to the planet in some way knowing what fits into their soul’s purpose and what doesn’t. And honestly, most of the subjects that I had felt were a waste of time, truly have nothing to do with my life today. But, in our current world, school is something that must be completed. I struggled with school all the way through until the end mostly because I didn’t like it, I didn’t relate to traditional learning and I just wanted to grow up and begin this thing called life. Often the experience of school made me emotionally and physically sick. I know now, the feelings of being sick were due to picking up energies that were not so positive from teachers, students, and even from stories told in history about war, battles, and such. As a child this was all very confusing to me, because I would think it was physical and have to go home sick. However when I would arrive home, I would feel full of energy and back to my old self. This created a strong disbelief with my parents, believing that I calling home sick because I simply didn’t want to be in school. I couldn’t explain it to them because I didn’t understand it myself. Having my parents not believe me and not knowing why I was feeling this way; made me feel more lost in life. I looked like everyone else on the outside, but on the inside I was very different. But some how, some way, I made it through the experience of school.
Some times the clues that the Angels and Spirit give us, about our soul’s purpose are bold and to the point. I remember receiving my very first clue or message about my soul’s purpose at age 6 or 7. From a very young age, I would spend a lot of time writing short stories, songs, and journaling about my feelings and thoughts. On this particular day, I was sitting at my little drawing table, writing in a notebook about my feelings and thoughts for that day. While being in the moment and focusing on what I was writing, I heard, out of the blue, this loud, but loving, voice say to me, ” You will help other people help themselves!” I looked behind me, and surprisingly, I wasn’t in complete shock as I had heard this voice during the night from time to time throughout the years. The statement excited me even at that young of age; I knew this was my direction and mission in life. I wrote down the statement at the top of my note paper and read it out loud over and over again. I now know that direct message came from Archangel Michael.I would spend years trying to figure out how I would carry out this Divine direction and what form it would take and how. Its seemed that every training or job that I would take part in, would leave me feeling as if I didn’t have a voice and my purpose was not being met. Once again this was draining the life out of me and I felt lost like so many times in my life. But I would soon start to see the clearing to my purpose.When I look back, I can clearly see the signs, steps, and clues that were always around every corner I turned. I still had to find my own way in the journey of my experience; growing, learning, healing in the experience of how to be just me; Eddie the Light Warrior.
My journey continues in my books, coming out soon!
Angel Light and Soul Blessings!